Your Cheatin’ Heart
by Dax Montana on Mar.29, 2005, under General
I used to say that I’ve broken every Commandment except one… Thou shall not commit Adultery. Now, I’m not quite sure. Don’t misunderstand; I have never been in any intimate situation with any woman other than my wife since we met. I’m not confused about that. What is confusing to me is the act of Cheating.
Last Saturday night, the lovely and talented Priscilla and I sat down to watch a little television. This show called “Cheaters” came on. For those who haven’t seen this program, let me give you a little detail. A person who suspects their significant other of infidelity calls Cheaters. Cheaters hires a private investigator to spy on the suspect. The suspect is then caught on tape “cheating” on their significant other. Then a confrontation is set up. All hell breaks loose. Dax is entertained. It’s awesome! The expressions on the people’s faces as they are being busted…priceless. I suppose that if the person wasn’t cheating, the investigation isn’t aired. I mean, what’s the fun in that?
Anyway, this show caused a much-heated debate between the Mrs. and myself. We just see cheating a little different. Some couples are married. I think that is fair game for the show. The strongest of all commitments were made. We are in agreement on that scenario. Sometimes they show a couple that just live together. Ok, I can see that. A commitment to share a household is also deserving of the public ridicule of national syndication.
The episodes that confuse me are the ones where the couple is just girlfriend and boy friend. They are merely dating. Maybe a promise to marry was made (engagement), maybe not. Does the “cheatee” really have a grievance with the cheater? What I mean to ask is the grieved party justified in subjecting the cheater to public ridicule?
This is where the debate starts. Maybe the Demystifying Divas (Sadie, Christina, Kathy, and Silk) will help clear this up for me. Maybe The Men’s Club Musketeers will chime in too.What is cheating? Is it just fantasizing about being with another person? Is it a casual flirtation? Is it meeting for coffee? Is it any less than actual penetration?
And at what level of commitment can cheating occur? If I take Sadie out to dinner on Friday and then Christina to the theater on Saturday, did I cheat on Sadie? What if Sadie and I shared an intimate kiss? Is that different? What if Kathy and I had sex one night, then I went out with Silk? Did I cheat on Kathy? Never mind that Priscilla would castrate me and stuff my penis in throat before she got busy actually killing me.
At some point in every relationship an emotional investment is made. How much of an investment does it take before cheating can occur? What should be the penalty?
Just Damn!
March 29th, 2005 on 7:56 pm
Hi Dax, it is my dick and I will put it anywhere I want, Cat. That also goes for the girls, it’s there pussy, they can do whatever they want.
March 29th, 2005 on 8:13 pm
You have a date with the divas!!
I have a feeling we will be all over this one.
Thanks, Dax.
March 29th, 2005 on 9:30 pm
Damn, Dax. All four Divas? That’s known as the Grand Slam!
March 29th, 2005 on 10:59 pm
BWAHHHHHAAAHH. That’s funny, and though it pains me, I shall resist making any remarks until we post about this as a group. Heh heh. Grand slam.
March 30th, 2005 on 2:41 am
You are most certainly on Mr Montana!
March 30th, 2005 on 3:18 am
Dickensian Diva Shop Talk.
It has come to the Demystifying Divas’ attention that Dax “Just Damn” Montana has offered up his thoughts on cheating for Diva deliberations. After we ladies discussed this a bit, we have agreed to take on his topic in the…
March 30th, 2005 on 10:06 am
Thought provoking this one is, what the guide lines are, and where they are drawn can be an interesting insight into other peoples’ lives. I once had a welder that worked for me that came to me, obviously distressed, told me that he was concerned with his relationship with his wife, he had caught her cheating, and on more than one occasion, he wondered if I thought that he should confront her directly about it. I told him I thought that probably the best rout was to be honest and forthright, and asked him for specifics.”well,” he continued, ” I counted the slices of bread left in the package when we finished dinner last night, before I put them in the oven. And this morning when I went to make toast, one was gone.”…. I kid you not!this guy was serious, and he believed he had a problem.
March 30th, 2005 on 12:05 pm
A recap of the morning after
A recap of yesterday’s topic: Will a guy respect a girl if she sleeps with him too soon?
Chrissy provides her presective about self respect.
Kathy explains that men are pigs .
Puffy claims he’s Irresistible.
Sadie explains that men really aren…
March 30th, 2005 on 1:20 pm
If I take Sadie out to dinner on Friday and then Christina to the theater on Saturday, did I cheat on Sadie? What if Sadie and I shared an intimate kiss? Is that different? What if Kathy and I had sex one night, then I went out with Silk? Did I cheat on Kathy? Never mind that Priscilla would castrate me and stuff my penis in throat before she got busy actually killing me.
Hell, I don’t know what you’d call it but I do know one thing. With that many pots in the fire something unruly is bound to happen.
March 30th, 2005 on 2:36 pm
My…what an interesting topic. I linked over here from Christina’s site as she dangled this carrot for you and I couldn’t resist.
Here’s my take on the whole cheating thing:
1. When is it cheating? It’s cheating when you’ve actually any sort of physical action. Kissing another is cheating in my book. HOWEVER, the fact that you haven’t done anything “physical” doesn’t excuse those who are engaging in intimate relationships with another man or women and just haven’t made that step yet. Men and women shouldn’t put themselves in situations where they are having “secret” time with another man or woman that their spouse doesn’t know about. It may not be “cheating”…but, it is leading up to cheating…which can be just as damaging to a relationship because let’s say the actual act doesn’t happen…well, then it’s going to be on your mind forever, causing you to be distracted from the relationship you are in…which will likely ruin it.
2. What kind of committment is necessary before it’s considered cheating: Well, I think that simply depends on the promises you’ve made to one another. You may be just boyfriend/girlfriend….but, if part of the conditions were that you’d be monogomous with each other, then it’s cheating if you’re not. People who are in boyfriend/girlfriend relationships with each other that haven’t talked about it…well…that’s dumb on their part…but, I still think if their is an unspoken understanding that you are the only one sleeping with your partner, it’s cheating if that isn’t the case. And obviously marraige is the big one.
March 30th, 2005 on 2:51 pm
I’ve watched that show. The Cheaters host goes by the name of Tommy Grand, if you can believe that. If that idiot showed up at my house with a camera he would need a grand to pay for the ass kicking he would get. And deserve.
March 30th, 2005 on 3:48 pm
I am sorry but if there is no ring on anyone’s finger there is no commitment. Therefore you are single.
You are dating which means she or he can sleep with whoever they want to and to bring any guilt or emotion into it is just juvenile.
Unfortunately it is usually the female who has the feelings of betrayal when the guy starts swinging his dick around if he has dated her more than one date in a row.
I say if you feel he is cheating on you go get your own, babe.
BUT once marriage is one the line, that is where the shit stops.
I mean if you wanted to keep sleeping around, why marry? Why tie yourself up with so many legalities?
Just one witch’s opinion.
March 30th, 2005 on 6:08 pm
If you feel the need to conceal it — it is cheating. Things are obviously more complex than that - but that is a good start
March 30th, 2005 on 6:23 pm
My experience is that most people make up the paramaters as they go along. They usually draw them loosely for themselves, but tighten them up for their partners.
March 30th, 2005 on 6:40 pm
From The Mailbox
Next week we will be responding, as requested, to this recent post by none other than Dax Montana on “What is cheating anyway?” Just Damn! (Sorry Dax, just had too!)
In my mailbox today I received feedback on this weeks topic
March 31st, 2005 on 1:10 am
(Almost) Daily Surf Selection - March 30th, ‘05
Feisty comes after cross dressers whilst Sadie ponders…
March 31st, 2005 on 5:55 pm
If you do or say anything to another that you wouldn’t do or say with your partner present, you have cheated. NO SECRETS. It does not have to be physical to be a betrayal.
April 5th, 2005 on 6:47 am
Keep It In Your Pants.
In the spirit of David Bowie, ’tis T-T-T-Tuesday, which means lucky you, for the Demystifying Divas are coming out to play. Do read Silk, Kathy, and Chrissy for their feminine perspectives, as well as the upstanding members of the Men’s…
April 5th, 2005 on 9:47 am
Cheatin, Just Damn!
Sadie has taken Dax’s question on what is cheating and come up with a splendid answer. Interesting subject, eh?
April 5th, 2005 on 3:39 pm
The Men’s Club: Puff’s Retort #3 - Cheating
And so the famous cry rings out… “we were on a break!”
Who will ever forget those immortal words…
May 9th, 2007 on 6:34 am
What’s your answer?…
Originally published March 30, 2005 I have a pretty casual attitude about sex— hell, I grew up during some tumultuous……